So many of my clients do a really good job of looking after other people, but when it comes to self-care, they are not so focused. They have reasons like ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I have too many responsibilities’. But taking care of yourself is essential.
There’s a good reason that airlines advise you that, in an emergency, you should put your own oxygen mask on before your children’s. It’s because, if you care for yourself, you are in a better position to care for others.
What is self-care?
Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean spending a lot of money or time on yourself.
It means anything you do to protect, maintain or improve your general sense of well-being. Sometimes it’s just a matter of investing a few minutes here and there. But doing these things regularly is important, so taking care of yourself is best developed as a habit that you carry out automatically and routinely so you feel happier and healthier.
Self-care tips and ideas
It’s important to try out a number of types of self-care. Find a self-care routine that suits you and look after yourself in as many ways as possible.
Take a daily walk
There are lots of advantages to this:
- It’s a great time to think. Part of your mind is occupied with moving your legs and maintaining your balance. The rest of your brain is free to think creatively.
- 30 minutes of brisk walking burns about 150 calories so helps you stay (or become) a healthy weight.
- Even a 10-minute daily walk can help reduce anxiety and depression. (Find out more about exercise and mood on this link).
Be kinder to yourself
Stop and consider for a moment: how do you speak about yourself inside your thoughts? Do you often think critical and disapproving comments about yourself? Would you ever speak like that to someone else? Probably not, so be kinder to yourself, notice what goes right and congratulate yourself when you do well.
Follow a healthy diet
What you eat (and drink for that matter) is not just about physical health or weight, it affects your psychological and emotional well-being as well. A healthy diet can help you feel more alert, and less anxious. (Find out more about food and mood on this link.)
Read each day
I admit to being a bookworm by choice, but reading for pleasure is great for brain health. It can increase self-esteem, reduce symptoms of depression, help build better relationships with others, and reduce anxiety and stress. Reading is also a great opportunity to learn something new. Imagine how much you could learn by reading for 30 minutes each day. Over twenty years, that’s about ninety 40-hour working weeks.
Unplug
Your brain needs a rest from the internet, your smartphone, TV, tablets, and so on. The blue light they emit interferes with your sleep patterns and they offer constant stimulation. Give yourself a rest from these items every day, preferably just before you go to bed.
Keep a ‘good moments’ diary
Our attention and mental energies are often taken up by problem-solving and ‘fire fighting’, so we miss the positives or take them for granted. Each evening, take a moment to find one good thing that happened to you over the day, even if it’s small like finding a parking space near the shop door when it’s raining or having a chat with a friend. Writing these things down can be helpful; you can read through them and remind yourself of good feelings when you feel at the end of your tether.
Is self-care selfish?
Definitely not. Following a regular self-care routine is an important habit to develop. And being at your best is good for you and for everyone around you.
If you struggle to develop these habits, I offer pampering and well-being sessions in person or online so please get in touch. I can help.
Author: Debbie Waller is a professional therapist, specialising in stress, anxiety and related issues, including gut-directed hypnotherapy to help with the symptoms of IBS. She also offers EMDR/Blast which is used for trauma, PTSD, phobias and OCD. For more information on any of these services, phone 01977 678593.
Researcher: Rae Waller is an experienced researcher and writer with a special interest in mental health issues. Rae offers drafting, fact-checking, proofreading, and editing for anything from a leaflet to a website, a blog or a book, and can also provide diversity reading, especially for LGBTQ+ and autism-related issues. Please contact rae@debbiewaller.com for further information.