What causes Christmas stress? Financial or family stresses are common, and the pressure to enjoy yourself can make enjoyment even harder. And the difference between your hopes or expectations and reality can be hard to cope with. Whether you’re celebrating Christmas or some other holiday season, these top tips will help you have a happier holiday.
One: Plan ahead for Christmas stress
Channel your inner Santa; make a list and check it twice. First, list all the things you need to do. Sort them out into order of importance and which can be done the quickest. If it looks too much, check if you really need to do all those things. Do you need to spend a whole day trudging around shops when eBay is there? If you’re worried you’ve forgotten something, ask someone else to check the list and remember to cross things off once they’re done. Posting the list on a noticeboard in a room you’re often in, can make sure you remember it.
Two: Get others involved
Posting your list in a public room is also so your family members can see what needs to be done. Encourage them to help, so the burden’s not all on one person, and you can bond over sharing the work. Maybe it’s time to teach your kids the Christmas cake recipe. Would your neighbour like to walk your dog while you decorate? Or vice versa? Many hands make light work.
Three: Help others at Christmas
Few things make you appreciate a celebration more than giving to others. If you can, donate some money or volunteer your time to a charity. The winter holiday season is especially hard for those who are homeless, pensioners, disabled, physically or mentally unwell, and underprivileged children. Your support for any of these causes can make all the difference to them. Plus it will make you feel happier to achieve something for others. If you don’t have money or time to give, now is a good time to go through your old belongings. Donate anything you don’t use any more to a charity shop. Even torn or stained clothes can usually be recycled; ask the shop if they do this. Think of it as making room for new gifts! www.givewell.org can help you find which charities will use your donations best.
Four: Keep up everyday self-care
Remember all those methods of dealing with stress you’ve picked up elsewhere on this site? Make sure to make some time for them. A hot bath, a cup of herbal tea, a few minutes of meditation, reading some heartwarming stories, or listening to your favourite song can all help. See previous articles for more suggestions!
Five: Keep some time for yourself
Even when the whole family’s getting along perfectly, the change of routine can be hard. If it starts to get to you, it’s okay to excuse yourself. Spend some time in a quiet room or outdoors. If you have a partner or spouse, try to find some time together as a couple, as well. Let kids and grandparents keep one another amused while you do!
Six: Family and Christmas stress
If your family is abusive or unaccepting of you, don’t feel obliged to go home because you’re ‘supposed to’. Spend the day alone with a warm drink and a good book, or at a friend’s house. Or do some volunteering (see above). Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty. Your priority is your own mental health. If you can’t avoid being in touch, arrange to spend some time with friends on the day as well.
Seven: Missing your family
It’s hard if you want to be with your family but can’t. If you can’t afford to travel to see them, then similarly don’t feel too bad about it. Make an effort to call or meet up online. Try to spend time with friends, even if it’s not on Christmas Day.
Eight: Mental Health at Christmas
Winter is a peak time for problems such as Seasonal Affective Disorder, and Christmas stress can aggravate anxiety and depression. A holiday where everyone around you appears happy can also make other problems seem worse. For example, if it’s the first Christmas after a loved one’s death or a breakup. Seek help if things go beyond manageable stress.
You can call the Samaritans at 116-123 if you feel you may be a danger to yourself, or contact them via their website at www.samaritans.org. If the problem is about money, try www.turn2us.org.
However, if your stress is long-term, make a New Year resolution to see a therapist and get help to cope better. No matter what your problem is, it’s possible to find help and I’d be happy to advise. Even if it’s not something I can help with, I can refer you to someone more appropriate. Get in touch.
Author: Debbie Waller is a professional therapist, specialising in stress, anxiety and related issues, including gut-directed hypnotherapy to help with the symptoms of IBS. She also offers EMDR/Blast which is used for trauma, PTSD, phobias and OCD. For more information on any of these services, phone 01977 678593.
Researcher: Rae Waller is an experienced researcher and writer with a special interest in mental health issues. Rae offers drafting, fact-checking, proofreading, and editing for anything from a leaflet to a website, a blog or a book, and can also provide diversity reading, especially for LGBTQ+ and autism-related issues. Please contact rae@debbiewaller.com for further information.
