Breaking the habit of negative thinking

Are you in a cycle of negative thinking? To be fair, we all think negatively from time to time. Something happens and it flits through our minds that the results of it will be bad, or uncomfortable, even though there is no particular reason that things won’t turn out well. The problem with negative thinking is that it can take over. From being an occasional, fleeting thought, it can become overwhelming, and feel as if it’s out of your control.

Negative thinking styles

• All-or-nothing thoughts – if it’s not perfect there’s no point.
• Unhelpful generalisations – I always do everything wrong.
• Filtering – noticing only negative parts of your experience, missing the things that go well.
• Ignoring positives – noticing the positives but assuming that they ‘don’t count’ somehow.
• Jumping to negative conclusions – by thinking you know what others will do or say, or what will happen in the future.
• Catastrophising/awfulisations – unrealistically making things worse than they are.
• Emotional reasoning – assuming our emotions tell us facts such as ‘I feel overwhelmed and there’s nothing I can do’.
• Rules – making rules for ourselves and others without considering circumstances or practicalities, can lead us to feel we are failing constantly. You can recognise your unwritten rules when you’re using words like ‘must’, ‘should’, and ‘ought to’.
• Labelling – using generalised (and generally unfair) negative words for ourselves or others, e.g. failure, useless.
• Blame – taking on too much responsibility for something, or looking to shift the blame to others.

How to stop thinking negatively

There is no magic cure for negative thinking, but with a bit of effort, it can be stopped. Here are some of my top tips:

• Look for evidence that your thoughts are unrealistic. Compare what you’re afraid may happen with what’s most likely to happen.
• Challenge your negative thoughts by adding ‘but it’s more likely that’ and a more positive thought. For example, to the thought ‘my partner’s late home, maybe they’ve had an accident,’ add ‘but it’s more likely they’re caught in traffic’.
• Make an effort to notice the good stuff that happens. At the end of each day, think of something that went well, or that you were pleased with. It doesn’t have to be huge, simple things will do like finishing a job on time, finding a parking space at a busy time of day, getting a bargain, doing a good turn for someone else, or having someone show you an act of kindness.
• Take time regularly to relax and do something you enjoy.
• Talk it out, speak to a friend or someone you trust. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a professional, and I’d be happy to help.

If you find that you are still struggling, hypnotherapy can be helpful for many people. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me and ask for information on how I can help. My number is 01977 678593 or you can email me.