Changing Unwanted Habits
Self Help articles from Debbie Waller Hypnotherapy
A habit becomes a problem when it is harder to live with it, than to do something about it. That’s why smoking bans inspire so many smokers to stop – it’s just too inconvenient to carry on.
It often helps to think of a habit as a mental “short cut” allowing you to do something without conscious effort. For example, when you first went to school, to write your name you had to think about everything from holding the pencil to whether it should be moving up, down or round on the paper. Now think about the last time you signed your name. Unless you have problems with literacy, it may have taken no conscious thought at all.
That’s a good (or at least convenient) habit, but other similar short cuts (smoking, snacking, chewing your nails) are less so. You may feel that they happen because you have no choice, but the real problem is that you do them without making a choice.
You’ll need to commit to change and put in some effort; don’t expect your habit to disappear overnight. But remember that how you live is a choice, and making the choice will get easier with time.
Try to become more aware of your habit; and change the circumstances in which it occurs. If your cigs are usually on the table by your chair, move the table. Or sit in a different chair for a while. If you chew your nails, a nasty taste makes you more aware when they go in your mouth. If you snack, keep moving the biscuits so you have to think about where they are – or put fruit where you would normally find them.
When you can’t automatically indulge your habit, you have to make a deliberate choice; then you can choose to do something healthier instead. And if you find that choice difficult, a therapist can often help.
Plan to replace your habit, don’t just stop. The ideal replacement is easier, healthier and more pleasurable than the old habit, and satisfies the same emotional or practical needs. Finding it means being very honest about when - and why - you carry out your habit; again, seek help from a therapist if you find this difficult.
Some changes can be made gradually; e.g. replace one cup of coffee a day with herbal tea this week, two cups next week etc.
Be realistic. If you plan to quit smoking, lose weight, grow un-chewed finger nails and exercise more you’ll find it less stressful to tackle one thing at a time!
Reward yourself for success; most people are familiar with the “star charts” used in schools - use the same idea for yourself. Keep a diary and give yourself (healthy) treats for the first successful day, week, month or other milestones.
Breaking bad habits is rarely instant, but once you are making a choice rather than responding automatically you’ll find that it’s easier than you thought.
(c) Debbie Waller
Advice is given for reference only, and does not replace advice given by a medical professional.